Today I have tried to do a few things. I did some sweeping, I found a place to put away a few fall and winter clothes. Of course, I started the day with devotion, bible reading, and some prayer time. I talked to Lisa and to Debbie, doing good.        I was putting something in a closet. I looked at the old jacket you wore so much. I put my face into it and I cried for you. I do miss you, Ben Miller. Sometimes it seems this is impossible he can't be gone, yet I know you are not here anymore. I find myself talking aloud, as if you were listening. No, I am not loosing my mind, Honey, I am only missing you.     I fixed myself a bowl of oatmeal and brown sugar cinnamon toast for breakfast. Good, healthy food. For the rest of the day I made mashed potatoes and litle green peas, with corn bread from Cracker Barrel.      I even have done the unpardonable, I started reading a book. You know how I am when reading, want to see what will happen next. Even when I was reading a book to you I was pron to say, let's read for another thirty minutes. Or maybe I'd want to read one more chapter. I still don't know what to do with me, I was so used to having you to take of. I miss you and I love you..........BILL-EE

Mothers Day 2012, Honey I missed you very much today. Missed you sitting beside me at church, missed you when we were eating, missed you when I got home. I still miss you.      I made it to church, barely on time. Sis Honea had invited me to eat with them today, naturally I did. I had nothing else to do and at least I was surrounded with people. I was there until after four o'clock. I went by the cemetery, put the sonar lights down hoping no one decides to take them away.        When I got home I looked at facebook, Duane and I did some chatting. I got really sleepy lay down for a few minutes, I didn't go to sleep. I thought for awhile I would drive over and go to church with Lisa but when I began getting sleepy I talked myself out of doing that.      I put some clothes away, ate a snack. I don't know where I am putting the food I ate so much today.     Debbie gave me a nice gift, I was thanking her. She said well it was for you and dad. I had to do a little crying about that. She was used to giving you a birthday gift in May, so I got your birthday gift this year.        Honey, I love you I ache for you and I miss you............BILL-EE

I went over to the Haynes for a few hours this afternoon. Harold grilled burgers and dogs....yummy good. I ate two dogs and fries, drank some "dead" coca cola.      I am still feeling upset about the stolen flowers from the grave of my Honey. I don't know if I will ever buy another nice, big bouquet for the vase.       Honey, I miss you so. Sometimes I can see your face before me. Sometimes that hinders my sleep. I will forever miss your being here with me and I will always have an ache. I will always think of you of our lives together. I wil always be thinking of our children, grands, and greats. You loved them all very much. We have been more blessed than anyone else. Though I think of everyone, especially you, I will try not to scream as I have done. I don't want to wonder why, God knows best.        Tomorrow, being Mothers Day I will miss you even more. I knew I could always count on you, my Honey, being beside me. Now, tho I will feel the fact that I am alone. I will probably never have another "special" day because I don't have you to be with me. I do feel my aloneness even more at certain times. I miss you and I love you...........BILL-EE

What I did today is , had breakfast with Debbie and Duane, got ready to leave, drove back to Sylvan Springs. I unpacked my bag, did a load of laundry, ate lunch, took a nap. Busy, busy day for me.       After my nap I got ready to go shopping and get some dinner. I went by the bank, bought some germ x, went on down to the Home Plate Diner got something to eat, then I went to Wal Mart.       First I stopped by the cemetery. I really got upset when I started to the grave site I noticed, right away, the beautiful flowers I had put in the vase were gone. I could not believe some one would actually steal flowers from a grave. I wanted to sit down and cry. Funny thing is the baloon frog had been left behind, without the stem. The flowers could not have blown out of the vase, but if the wind had been strong enough to do that, it surely would not have left the frog behind. Also the little fish I had taken there was laying very neatly on the granite. Yes, that was enough to upset anyone. I hope whoever took them will enjoy them as much as I enjoyed putting them there for you, Honey.          Well that has been my day. I bought a few groceries, got them in and put away. I was thinking how you would "fuss" at me for trying to bring everything in at once. You thought I should make as many trips as necessary, to bring in a few at a time. I feel like get them in the house and taken care of. So much to think about. We did have a long time together, yet it seems like hardly no time at all.      Allison is coming after her furniture and guess she will get everything. I will stay alone, totally. Will probably go to Georgia more than I have done. Don't know for sure, yet, just what I will do.        I do know for sure that I will miss you no matter where I am and that I love you...........BILL-EE

Here I am still in Georgia. Duane had the test today, he doesn't know the results yet. Maybe this test will show what they will need to know. The Dr. is determined to find what is causing his problems, also wants to be sure the  arteries are all o.k.       Anyway, that is basically what I did today. After we left the Doctor's we came back across town to EMGs office and ate some lunch.      We came back to the Darden's, I took a nap, Duane went home, Deb came home and started dinner. Of course, she made a good meal as she always does. So since that is what my day consisted of, there isn't much to write about.        I can always talk about how much I miss you, Honey.           I am sleeping in the bedroom that was yours, for alot of years, when we were here. For years you and I made quite a few trips to Georgia for several days. About the only place we ever went to. The thing is, I have so many memories of us here. I remember how so many times your great sense of humor would make us laugh, Debbie would always say, "that's my dad".       I miss you and I love you. I have really enjoyed spending this time with Duane and Debbie, but leave tomorrow a.m. for home. Love you.............BILL-EE

Honey, I am in Georgia. Duane is having a nuclear treadmill test done tomorrow, so I am here to go with him. Dr. Gandy is wanting to check out everything about his heart. He says some things are not right. For one he wasn't getting any oxygen to his heart. He wants to know if they need to do another stint right now. Anyway I drove up here late afternoon. Other than that I didn't get much done again today.      Lisa still having bad headaches, I have plenty to pray about. Another reason I miss you. I knew if I told you something was wrong with any of our children, you would pray.         The drive up here was uneventful. I rather enjoyed it. Of course I missed not having you in the car with me. I just miss you, period. I am not going to try to write a long note. I didn't do anything to write about, so I will say I love you............BILL-EE

I am here again tonight to write a note about my day without you, Honey. First off, I went to the ladies meeting last evening at the Cracker Barrel. There, we ate dinner. I left the Cracker Barrel at eight Forty one. I drove to Lisa's, I sat up talking to Harold for awhile then got ready for bed. Last night was one of those nights, no sleep until past four o'clock. Up every half hour. I woke when Lisa got up to get ready for work. I finally got back to sleep about eight o'clock. Ashley was there with Rylan at nine ten. So you can see it was definitely, one of those nights.       I am back home tired, sleepy, and thinking of getting in bed. Rylan and I did good, we had a good day. He wasn't at all hard to take care of.      The award dinner was fine. What was so funny, a lot of people were there. The line was long. I told Ashley I would keep my seat until the lind shortened. The Homewood Mayor came by our table, he spoke and asked if I wasn't going to eat. I told him I am waiting for the line to get shorter, so he sets his food down, comes back picks up my plate, and says he is getting me some food right away. Lisa was in the serving line, he took the plate to her and told her to break in line and fix me a plate. I was so shocked at that, but he remembered me from your visitation. Also I had seen him at the Homewood Christmas party. It was so nice of him and I was hungry. Several of the people remembered me from the visitation and your funeral. Even some of those that were retired. After all Lisa has been around there for quite a few years now.     That pretty well sums up my day except to say as always that I miss you very much and that I love you...........BILL-EE