Ben Miller, I miss you so much, I am still so lost without you. It seems that whenever I try to do something good, I get "burned" or "bummed". You were the level headed one in our twosome.            That is enough of that.          Debbie and Tot are in England, they seem to be having a great time. Tot is in school over there, from what he says it is hard to understand their English language.        Bro. Honea did a good job tonight on his sermon, you would have enjoyed it. I still miss having you at church with me. Nothing is the same without you, Honey.          I have my regular check-up at the doctor in the a.m. So I will be going to bed in a short time. I love you..........BILL-EE

I did a load of laundry today. Changed the sheets on my bed. I went to a ladies meeting tonight. We went to the Home Plate Diner for dinner. Everyone ate heartily, and we just had a good time talking and laughing together.          Lisa called this afternoon, rather early evening. That about sums up my day.          I thought of you and how I miss you and can still say truthfully, I love you..........BILL-EE

I haven't written since 10/04. Friday 10/05 I went with Lisa, Ashley, and Rylan to Sulligent. Harold was already there. He had gone down earlier, took a horse, there was a horse show on Saturday night, it started raining so Harold decided against riding in it. He didn't want to put his horses through that, plus he didn't want to put himself through it.           Lisa, Ashley, Rylan and I went to a little carnival on Saturday. We had a big time, watching Rylan, little dare devil, riding and having fun. It was cool, but fun. I am glad I went with them. We came back last night. I got home a little past eleven.        Today was a very cool day, and tonight will be almost cold. the heater in the den won't come on. I got Allison to check it, she couldn't turn it on either. The knob will not turn.         Allison moved in some of her belongings tonight. We will do fine, I have already talked quite frankly with her. I know you would say "you have to help her". I will try again.         I can see you so clearly, at the most unexpected times. I know there is a picture, no pictures, of you in my heart. A picture will "pop" up when I am thinking of you so strongly and the pain becomes so fresh and new all over. I do miss you alot, as always, and I know I love you..........BILL-EE

Well, today I did go to the retiree luncheon, Fay snd Byron both went with me. We had a great lunch and a good time. After we left Golden Corral we went by Wal Mart, Hueytown. I bought a few items and Byron bought me and Fay a watch. After they left, I lay down had a short nap. About all I did this day.         I went to the church, as I do each day, James and Glenda were there. When I started to leave I talked a bit with them. They decided to go and invited me to go with them to Arby's for a bite to eat. I definitely was blessed on this day.        Debbie and Tot are leaving for England tomorrow. I told Debbie about the day of remembrance at Camp Boggy, where you are a part of the memorial service. She told me to go and she would pay the motel bill when she gets back home. I am excited, can't wait to tell Carolyn that we will be able to go. I wish there was someway Ashley could go with us, she has to take care of Rylan so....           Honey, I am missing you every day but I am still looking to the hills where I know my strength comes from. It is final, you are gone forever and I am alone, missing you and I can say I love you............BILL-EE

I am home. I did go to the surgeon today, he says everything is as should be. The reason I still have pain is the infection got to the nerves and that it would take awhile for them to get all settled down. Ashley met me there, Lisa wanted to know everything the doctor said. I got back home, took my medicine, and took a nap. I am about ready to want to go to bed now. Last night was one of the, what I call, killer nights.          I stopped at the cemetery on the way to church tonight. Stayed for several minutes.         Fay is supposed to come over tomorrow morning; we will be going to the retiree luncheon tomorrow. All I got for today except to say I miss you, I love you.........BILL-EE

I went to see Dr. Rosenstiel today. Supposed to get a tooth filled, well he looked at me and said I won't touch you today. He says my face is still not well and I need to see the Dr. again. I finally promised to call Dumas. When I told Lisa about it what does she do, but call the surgeon. I told her I had called Dumas, as I promised the dentist I would do, and he had called me in another round of antibiotic. The surgeons office called and said he wanted to see me again. Your baby is determined for me. Knowing you, you would appauld her.          I went by the cemetery this evening. Didn't get  much of anything accomplished today. The same thing tomorrow, a trip to the surgeon and to Dr. LeCroys office. On Thursday, I hope to get to the Sears retiree luncheon. Busy week for me.          I want to get in bed early as I will need to be out and about by ten o'clock. I miss you and I love you..........BILL-EE

The beginning of a new month. Only 3 more months of 2012, then what? One thing is for sure life goes on, God is still God true and living. HE has ears to hear, eyes to see, HE sees all and knows all. I am so happy that you and I discovered this 45 years ago. I know you never regretted it and I know I haven't either. God is good, all the time.           Today has been somewhat of a busy day. Mostly I waited for the telephone to ring. I had called Allison last night, I told her to come over here with me. I know that is what you would do if you were here. She called this a.m, woke me, and asked if I meant it. Of course I did, I couldn't sit back and let any of our children live on the street. Maybe that is why God is still so good to me and was always good to us, we tried to help others. Naturally I will help ours if and when I can.          It is about to be bed time, so I will go with these words.......I miss you much and I love you much..........BILL-EE