I wrote on this blog, I think, sometime after 6/16. I remember saying how lonely I had felt for Ben. Now it is 6/24, yesterday was 21 months since he left (me). All day I have thought about 21 months ago, what an awful day it was.  Those days were the worst days of my 81 years. I keep hearing it will get better, but I wonder when.            I went to Camp Meeting 2013 last Thursday and Friday nights. I remembered camp meetings of the past when my husband went with me. Oh, how you would have loved that preaching, Ben Miller.          Janell and J.C. were here from Thursday afternoon until this a.m. They went along to the meetings with us. They will be  back on Monday 7/7 (Lynn's birthday), I will be going with them to the MS camp meeting. We will leave here on Tuesday a.m. we will stay thru Thursday or Friday.           I am hanging out alone again now. I usually sleep late, today I did laundry really had alot to do. Tomorrow I do my clothes I've worn for the past two weeks. Got to get plenty of clothes ready for the camp meeting.          Oh, how my heart weeps knowing that I am forever alone. I haven't forgotten to be very thankful for life God has granted me and I know my Ben would be glad if he knew I was still here, still able to be independent. I miss him so much, still feels like a big hole in my heart, still crying tears, and silent ones at times. I do know I can always look to the hills from whence comes my help. Ben Miller I miss you and I love you.............BILL-EE