Ben Miller RIP, Dear Honey, on Monday 9/26/2011 you were laid to rest. Now it is Monday 8/26/2013, this day has been a day of many silent tears for me. All I felt like doing was staying in bed. I wanted to shut out reality. I didn't want to think of my heart ache, of how I miss you.             I really thought about going to the grave site and sit there, not ever moving. God is so good, I finally thought of my many years of saying, "life goes on and God is still God". I made myself move and tried hard to say to myself, move on ole girl, there is still something for you to do.           I can't really say I have done anything today, but I got up, I folded clothes, half cleaned the kitchen. Duane and I went to Applebees and ate then we went to Wal Mart, in Bessemer and I bought a few things.           I really can't tell anyone how I feel, but Honey I keep smiling, even though my heart is so sad and achy and I so miss you. I am hoping that by and by it will not be so bad. I love you and wish you were here with me.............I miss hearing the BILL-EE          It is a couple of minutes past midnight, so now is Tuesday 8/27.

I wrote last on July 22, today is August 21 Wednesday. I am thinking of our last week. September 21, 2011 was also on Wednesday. You didn't come downstairs all that day, you ate all three meals in the bedroom. We didn't go to church that evening. you hadn't felt good all day. You didn't stay in bed, but sat in a chair most of the day. That evening you said your stomache hurt. What is funny, you did sleep well that night. You didn't wake early and want to get out of bed.       Oh, if I had known you only had one more full day in this life. At least I did eat lunch and dinner in the room with you. As usual I had clothes to laundry, fold, and put away that day; along with all the other chores, it seemed, I always needed to do. I miss you so much still, I wonder will I ever not miss you. I go to the cemetery quite often even though it has been 23 months since you left me. Yes, I miss you and I love you as always.......... BILL-EE. I still miss hearing the BILL-EE.