I haven't written anything in over 2 months. It wasn't done because I didn't have something to say, I can always think of something I would like to say to you. I go to cemetery and say plenty, only God hears, the wind takes it along as it travels.            I have made it past the 3 year mark without you, have had many heart breaks along the way. With God's help I have continued to remind myself that life does go on, and God is still God.          Today heard the heartbreaking news that Quinton Essary died, from cancer. Bill Skinner, our good friend and neighbor, is battling brain cancer. I could not begin to tell of the pitiful sight our country is in. Nor the heartbreak of our youngest. Since I can't think of anything good except that we have 16 greats now, all beautiful. I will say I love you and miss you as always............,.BILL-EE

It is August 1st, I tried several weeks ago to bring this blog up because I wanted to write again on it. For some reason I could never get the laptop to come on. Anyway, I decided to try again and here I am. Just been thinking how I feel like at times that you are still sitting here in your chair; how I wish. I still stop at the cemetery often, sometimes I talk to you, sometimes I talk to God, but always I am missing you so much.           My days are usually about the same, sometimes I do very little, some days I don't quit, then I get very worn out. I can remember how you would say okay you need to stop now and rest awhile. Always thoughtful of me, especially the year after I had pneumonia.        I try to walk up and dowm the stairs without holding to the rails, that isn't going too well. Boy Debbie gave me a "what to" about that, just as you would have.       I miss you so much, times I need to have someone around just to talk to, but I know God is always there. Honey, knowing you as I did, I can imagine what you would say to me about everything I would like to talk about; but oh, how I would cherish even those things I didn't like for you to say.            I have made it for a little over 34 months now. I wonder if the heart ever really understands. I know that people doesn't. So much to tell you, but it would take too long, so for now I will say again I miss you and I love you...........BILL-EE

Today is June 25, 2014, 33 months ago I waited for the time to go to viewing. It seems like so long ago, yet it seems like only yesterday or even today. Makes me wonder when if ever the hole that is left in my heart will heal.           There is no way to describe what one feels, when they lose the mate of a lifetime. It is always memories there, some of the last years with you, the blindness, dependence, always needing someone near to help you walk, etc. Knowing the person you were, I knew all this made you feel too helpless, which did not help your case. That alone interfered with your health. I can only repeat over again that I miss you and I love you........BILL-EE

Today is June 1st, 2014. I am almost ready for church. Debbie is here, she is going with me today.   Most of the day yesterday, we met Lisa and Ashley, had lunch and then started the hard  work of shopping. I am finally going to California, getting to visit the Butlers'. I told them when you first left me that I would visit. Finally, all these months later I am going. I am excited, but thinking about you, as always. Justy wanted to say I love you Ben, and oh, how I miss you.............BILL-EE

Here it is, 5/18/2014. All day I have thought about you, Ben. I have remembered that 32 months ago on Sunday, Sep 18, 2011 was your last time in church. You always enjoyed going to church. After church on we went out to eat with the Honea's and several others Soon after you finished eating you were definitely ready to go home, you really didn't feel good that day. We soon got up to go, Bro Honea was driving us. He helped you into the house and you lay down for a nap. That was not a good week for us. We were not expecting you to leave us before that week was over. Ben, I still miss you. Sometimes it seems  as fresh as yesterday, your leaving. I am still hanging in there, as always.             I feel like the hole in my heart hasn't healed at all. I have written in this blog several times, but nothing is being shown in 2014. Anyway I am trying again. I love you and miss you so much.................BILL-EE