I want to write a bit this evening. I am enjoying the work I do at the Academy, I am working on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. I have Mondays for laundry and Friday for cleaning, so it is working out fine.          Honey, sometimes it seems I am doing so well, but then it hits me hard, you are gone from me forever. Then I wonder, how will I make it alone? My heart will ache, it seems as if a big empty and dark hole is there; and not a heart. I wonder also how have I made it these months alone. Only God knows, maybe because when I begin to have the feelings of pain and anguish, I turn to Him for comfort and strength.            It has rained so much again, lately. Today it was cold rain. I am thankful when it rains, I am thankful when the sun shines.           My jaw has been bad the last month or so. Yesterday it started hurting so bad, I couldn't eat or drink anything without the pain attacking me. Then it just stopped, and I had no more pain until this morning. Just me, complaining about something I have no control over. It is hurting now, even as I type this. I am thinking of seeing Dr. Baar again, don't know what he can do...but.           I am going to fix something to eat and try to get it eaten, not before I say I miss you and I love you...............BILL-EE