Today is February 24, 2013. I had wanted to write on 2/23 but the computer had a virus. I didn't know what or which way to go. Lisa, Ashley and Rylan came over here, so Lisa got on the 'phone with Carey and he told her what should be done. The lap top had not been doing so well, I had forgotten about everything on it. Of course, again Lisa got me back on it, so here I am finally.             I stopped at the cemetery today, had a little chat. Honey 17 months ago, 2/23 was your last day alive. It had been a rough week. Helped that Allison and Kamilah came over Friday night, then the others who came yesterday. Last night I was alone for quite awhile, nothing new about that.            The pain in my heart is as fresh as 17 months ago. The difference is I work at not letting my pain be known to anyone. This is my way of talking about how I feel. I really am not very good at putting on paper, my feelings, but I do try.It was always so easy to talk to you about anything. You sometimes didn't make much response to my talking, but it always felt good just knowing you had listened.           Anyway 17 months ago we got arrangements made. Bro. Butler and Martin would have been here (as you had figured). The only reason was the Martins had 2 churches to take care of and couldn't get here. The Butlers tried everyway to find a flight, the difference in time prevented them from being able to make it. Bro. Wheatley had just got home and was too tired for the long ride. They all three wrote beautiful words about Bro Ben, which were read in the service. Bro. Maughon and Bro. Honea, had alot to say. Bro. Raggio was here, he did the eulogy. Sis. McCoy sang, beautiful as only she can do. Bro. McCoy was a pall bearer and prayed at the grave site. The funeral director told us, our children and me that he had never heard such a prayer as was prayed that day, at any time, at any funeral he had directed. Myself, all four children and some of the grands received, on our facebook pages, some beautiful words about Bro. Ben Miller. You were loved and cherished by so many people.        Especially me. Then in January, 2012 we lost Milton and July, 2012 we lay Icy to rest. It has really been 17 months of heartaches on heartaches.          I will write again soon, I can't see the page or words for the tears that are falling. I miss you so much and love you always...............BILL-EE