I am going to write yet again. In three days it will be Christmas day. I feel more alone than ever, my heart feels achy and sad. Thinking of Christmas without you is like a torment. I don't know what to do, what to say, or even what to think.         I went by the cemetery today, I was on my way home from Lisa's. I had been there since about eight thirty Thursday A.M. Now I am back home, wondering how do I make it through this Christmas. God Help me get through this is my continuous prayer. It is so hard to try to explain how I feel, I just know I miss you more than ever. I will soon take some medicine and go to bed, trying not to think of how alone I feel. I miss you, I love you.........BILL-EE