It has been more than a week since I have written in the blog. I stayed Wednesday and Thursday nights at the Haynes'. I came home Friday, got here about four thirty or so. The Killoughs were sitting in the car port. I really wasn't expecting them, as they were here on 11/11.           They did some much needed chores around here all day Saturday. I really enjoyed their visit. I just a few minutes ago got the den cleaned up. It was a big mess around and on the desk. J.C. fixed those tiles, made quite a mess.           Today I finally got to the cemetery again. Left home to go by there, then I went grocery shopping. I did not have a slice of bread in the house.           Ben, my beloved, today fourteen months ago we had your burial. Oh, how my heart aches, anew it seems, with each passing day. It still doesn't feel real to me, that you are gone from me. Honey, you were all I had. I wanted to celebrate alot more anniversaries with you. I do know I heard your prayer, "come and get me, Lord, I am ready". That doesn't stop the ache of my heart, yet it gives me some consolation. I miss you more than words can express and I also love you, love you.............BILL-EE

I am going to try to write again. Not much to talk about. I have been sick for all this past week. I finally got started on an antibiotic Saturday. I missed church again, to my sorrow. I am fighting this as hard as is possible.           Today I was coming down the stairs, when I thought of how you would always say, hold the rail when you are on the stairs. Lets me know that you knew more about how my health was than even I knew. I sure would like to hear more of the kind of advice you were always giving me. Ben I miss you something bad. May not be proper, but it is the truth. I need to get something in me to drink, I can't afford not to drink, also am about to try to eat a little again.  I love you, Honey...........BILL-EE

This has not been my best week. I haven't been feeling well all week. I finally slept good last night, even though I was coughing most of the night. I would have called the doctor, but he always tells me to come in to the office. Sorry I have't felt like dressing all week. Certainly haven't wanted to drive. I did fell better this a.m. I had a good long night's sleep. Praying for another one tonight.           OH, Ben I know I will always need you. I felt safe as long as I had you with me. Even those days last year when we were neither well. I didn't even venture out for church tonight, anyone who knows me know I had to not been well.             I am not going to write much, I am not thinking straight right now. My ears are ringing so bad, that makes  me feel dizzy, ugh. I miss you I love you.............BILL-EE

Goodness, it has been a long time since I wrote in this blog. Not because I haven't been thinking of you, Ben Miller. I think of you all the time. Out of the blue, sometimes, I will remember something funny you said or did. I may even think of some place we have gone, of something we may have done. I know when the Killoughs are here they probably get tired hearing me talk about you. Debbie and Duane may have gotten tired of hearing about you last week end.        We have had rain, cold weather, and today was so nice. We went to the Galleria with Bro. Honea and Aubrey, then he took us to Dreamland for ribs. I really did eat too much. Tonight we ate cheese and crackers. Missing you, love you......BILL-EE

It has turned cold, supposed to be frost tonight. I haven't been able to get by the cemetery in several days. When I drive by there the ache in my heart is unbearable, it seems, yet I have to keep going. Thank you for the prayers you prayed for me, I know they have and will be a big help, in my going, in my smiling. I miss you so much and I love you.........BILL-EE

I got  my driver's license today. I had to stand in line for one and one half hours. I did get two loads of laundry done before I left for the court house.           I got to thinking how you and I planned to really retire and do some traveling. My heart was breaking and breaking more, then I remembered hearing you ask the Lord to just come and get you. That caused more tears, more heart ache, just thinking of how sick you were. Yet, you never complained. You wanted to stick around with me, but you got to tired of the blackness, of not feeling like even trying to walk anymore. Honey, so glad I know you were ready to meet the Lord, ready for Him to come after you. He did, and I am alone, but I know that you are well and happy now. No more blackness, no more sickness. Someday, maybe I can handle all this better. I miss you, and I love you..........BILL-EE

November 4, 2012. Another year almost gone. I have been without the comfort of you dear heart, for more than a year now. I still miss you and more than likely I always will. Regardless of what the future holds for me, I know I will be missing you. I wanted to stop by the cemetery on my way home from church, but thought better of it.          Debbie and Duane came from GA this week-end. I, of course, enjoyed them. We met Dialyn and Glen at the Lone Star (Homewood) last evening. We had a grand ole time as always. I remembered what you would always eat when we went there, thought about how big the sweet potato you ordered always was. That is what you liked about that place, big sweet potatoes. One of your most favorite foods.           I am about to go up stairs and eat a bite of something. First I Want to say I love you..........BILL-EE

As I was at the church  awhile  ago. My thoughts, just before I left there was about you. I could almost see you sittng there in that wheel chair, hearing you as you worshipped our God. Thinking of all the things our former pastors wrote about you. Hearing what the pastors, former and present said about you. Made me realize all over again how God had blessed me. He gave us 60 years, 9 months, and almost thirteen days together. Now that is a blessing, we never had any real serious troubles, no problems. Our children, all 4 of them, were truly God sents. I miss you so very much, I think of you so very much, constantly. I love you, my Beloved Ben Miller............BILL-EE   I wanted to add I am about to eat one of your favorites....cornbread and buttermilk......Thinking of you.