I actually got out of the house this evening. I went over to the church for prayer. My intentions were to stop at cemetery. I saw Chevron had gas for $3.54 per gallon, so I stopped and filled the tank. I had made a trip to GA and back, to the doctors, and to the ER since I had filled the tank. I had 324 miles driven and it only took 11 gallons to fill up. Anyway it was too dark to stop as I had planned to do. It was probasbly for the best that I didn't stop, as it was dark.          Ben, the day has been long, this time a year ago I could barely stand, could barely breath. It was a night of saying good-bye to my one true love. I still can truthfully say "I love you". My plans are to meet you in a place of no tears, no sorrows, no good-byes ever again.           I miss you so much. There are always things coming up that I need you to tell me yes or no about. I was never much good about making the tough decisions, I relied on you for that.           I tried to stay busy today, I did actually get the kitchen floor mopped good. I am still not "up to par", I know what you would have been saying to me about ever 30 minutes or so, "you need to lay down for awhile and rest". Oh Ben I miss you so, I wonder will the pain ever cease and when? I love you more than I could ever say in 60 years, 9 months, and 13 days...............BILL-EE