Ben Ashley did this blog for me so I could write you, just want to say it is so lonely here without you, every way I turn, brings you. I hurt, Ben, so all I can do sometimes is scream and scream. I miss you so very much. I went to church tonight, miss you so there. Watching you worship, hearing your halleujah's, I wonder how, Lord, how will I make it thru another night and day. I know you prayed alot for me the last few weeks of your lfe, I don't want to disappoint you, but most of all I don't want to disappoint our God. I can still hear you saying to me, "I love you, next to Jesus, HE is my first love, you are next". Honey, I love you and miss you. It is cold tonight, I am all alone. I live in the living room and kitchen. Thanks for all the prayers you said for me. miss you.....BILL-EE