Oct. 14, 2011 @ 1:03 a.m.

I went to bed, sleep wouldn't come, the pain is so bad. Tried to read some words others had written who had lost a husband. I felt even worse, reading about others pain. Ben it's so hard sometimes (all the time, really). What does one do? I think I am doing great, then the pain starts all over again.I don't hear your voice, oh how I miss the Bill-ee, just to hear you call me one more time. Couldn't know there was this kind of pain. So I sit, wondering why, I love you still and wish I could call back some more time.....You were one great person Ben Miller, now I am alone, you wouldn't like that but I know that's how it'll be. Pain go away......