Ben, Debbie came back down tonight, we just went out to get dinner. I am still working on knowing how to do, what to do. Why did you leave me? Okay, I know you were tired, so was I. I put some pretty fall colored leaves in the vase Ashley and I put at the grave, looked real good at least it is fall. Honey, I know that you can see now, you are not in a world of darkness anymore. I am so glad you can see light again. I will never forget your telling me on Thursday 9/22/11, I see light. When we started walking out of the bedroom you said I could see light before I got up but now it is all black again. My heart broke again, how I wished I could take the blindnes and give you sight. How many times did my heart break? Over and over again, yet now it is broken so bad, without you here it is sad and I don't know how to be, we were one, and now I am just half. How should a half be, so I am trying to learn, God help me is my many daily prayers. Anyway I am so happy to have Debbie here with me I'm not alone tonight, still just a half tho. Miss you so much, hurt so bad, there is no medicine for this hurt, thank you for the prayers you said for me. God heard them and HE will answer them. I love you...... BIL-LEE