Ben compared to last night it's early, I haven't eaten dinner yet, don't really want anything. One month ago we walked into the church where you lay. The longest walk I felt like I had ever walked, at the cemetery this evening I was talking about that walk. When I got close enough to see you, I became that young girl, seeing that good-looking sailor, you were so handsome then, and so handsome laying there. You sometime looked as if you were smiling. Melisha youngest son, told them you were smiling. He wondered what you smiling about. I have had a  looong month, mostly alone. It seems as if it as been a long time, yet only yesterday. I keep reminding myself that now you see again, now you can shout on the streets of glory. Everyone keeps saying you are looking down on me, yet I wonder!!!!!!are you so gloriously happy in heaven do you even think about earth or anything, anyone on it? Now you can see your first love, Jesus. Guess I want to think you are seeing me, but you always told me I was second, Jesus first, in your heart. That was fine with me, how I wanted it to be. I don't know yet how I can make it, but with the help of God, I have to. That's what you would want me to do. I love you, I miss you...Goodnight Love.... BILL-EE