Well, here I am again to say honey, I miss you so  much, I love you so, and to say I hurt. Fay and Byron spent the night here. I was talking about doing some more cleaning they started the cleaning. Byron did the vacumning, Fay mopped the kitchen, Byron dusted the ceiling fans. I sat there and wached them, just like I did when Debbie was so busy Sunday with Hamp's old room. Feels good being pampered. Ben both of us being sick last year and again this year, me trying to be a good caregiver to you and take care of myself, I wonder did I do a good enough job for you. I can truthfully say I thought I was doing the best I could, for you, but was I? You always told me I was doing a good job but I was so afraid at times. All I know for sure is, I loved you even when/if you were a grouch and I knew you loved me when I was a grouch. Oh honey, I was so sorry that I got sick, seemed like I didn't have many days that I was breathing good, I wouldn't feel rested, you would have those nights when you up really often...what a year, huh? No matter we were together and we loved each other, I never minded doing for you, just pray I did a good enough job. Getting late I want to try and get to bed earlier tonight...I love you... Bil-lee