2/1/12

Honey, I miss you. Today I was thinking about how I would walk into the living room, plop down on your knees, and feel your arms slip around me. I really miss those things. I miss hearing you say, you need to lie down for awhile and rest. Maybe I would tell you I had already lay down for awhile. You would always answer with "that's o.k. you can lie down again". I was just talking to your bro Ulmer about your telling me to rest. He said you knew that I was tired. Honey, did you really know how tiring it was, at times moreso, to try to take as good care as I wanted to of you? I think about how tiring it had gotten for us both. I feel angry at me sometimes, for getting so tired. You do know whatever I did or didn't do I was always thinking of you. I only wanted to help you. That was always first and foremost in my mind. I still sometimes have a hard time thinking that you left me.......but for a much better place. Thank you for praying for me, as you did last year. Sometimes it is those prayers that carries me through the day.  I miss you and I miss hearing your "I love you"..............Ben I love you.............BILL-EE