Today was Deb & Tot's anniversary. Forty One years. I am proud of them both for being commited to each other. That is a great testimony in these days we live in.          I have done a load of laundry, did I say a large load? I haven't done a whole lot more than that today. A few minor choirs.           I am excited, Dialyn says she is going to come over tomorrow night and spend the evening, night with me. I guess I need to start thinking of something for dinner for us. I so rarely buy groceries the way I once did. It hasn't been any fun fixing food just for me.          Honey, each day I am working to make my life (or the rest of my life) count for something. I still feel the great ache I have had for these past months. I remember our lives together, I can find no place to complain about our togetherness. As I have always said whatever  we did we did together. If we laughed or if we cried we did it together. Who could ask for more? I am still trying to find how to always do these things alone. I miss you and I love you. I loved your smile, I loved the way you could talk to anyone. Did you ever know what a stranger was? You were happy with who you were and also who your wife was. So I keep looking to those hills from whence cometh my help. What else can I possibly do...........I love you.............BILL-EE