Dec 15, 2011

Honey, I love you, I miss you . It is late, I sat down at the computer to write you a note. Wouldn't you know the phone would ring? After I got off phone I started on something else, just now writing. 12/14 was not any different than a lot of my days I didn't do much of anything only got out long enough to go to the mail box. It rained here today. A lady is supposed to be here Monday to clean the house, so I decided not to do any serious cleaning, as I usually would do. Anyway I usually keep everything orderly around here. I think of you so much, I am so happy that I have finally felt at peace. I thought at first that I had been angry at myself and at you, as I would think over the past weeks I began to realize I really believe it was guilt. I felt I had let you down, had not done all I could have for you. I know we both had not been well this year. Seems I was always tired, but I do know that I did all I knew to do to take care of you, I loved you very much. I still love you that won't change. It has gotten so late now, and I do want to get some sleep tonight. I miss you so, when I lie down, I think and I don't always get to sleep until late. I hope to get to MS after first of the year for a few days. I asked Tammy to ride down with me. Allison & Baby is probably going to move in with me. I will write more about that, as time goes on. Most of all I just want to say Ben Miller I love you.........BILL-EE