Dec.8, 2011

Ben, what a day it has been. I didn't really want to get up this morning, because I miss you so much. I did get up, ate some left-overs, took a shower, made a phone call,  went to the cemetery. I put the star Debbie bought, I just attached it to the crosses. It looked good, so I thought. I then went to General Dollar, bought a little gift for our greats. I also got a couple of birthday cards. Then I drove down to the Homeplate Diner, got a plate, brought it home to eat. On the way home, thinking of you, and knowing how much I miss you. I wish you were still with me. I began my usual (sometimes) yelling, then I thought it's time to look again to the hills, from whence cometh my help. I know that God doesn't make mistakes, I know, too, that I am all alone thinking of our last anniversary, and thinking about the one that is getting so close. Yes, it makes me want to scream and yell. All I do is cry and cry. I would never believe I could miss you this much, but we were so together, and we cared so much. I will always try and remember how and what you would expect of me, and be the one who loves you honey and the one who misses hearing your............BILL-EE