I keep trying to make it a day at a time without you my Ben. I have been on FB for awhile this evening, with Debbie, Duane and Donnie. It was a therapeutic time for me. Sometimes I really don't know what to do with myself. Oh, Charlotte Biscotto got in on that, too. She was talking about the picture we were talking around.         Today I did a load of laundry. I took clothes upstairs that I had already done. Other than that I didn't do much. It was so easy to get chores taken care of when you were here with me. Now mostly it seems like why bother?          I am wondering if you knew about the indian tree cigars our kids tried out. Guess they were being normal kids. Something about the coke machine at the gas station. I am waiting to hear more about that.         I didn't sleep well last night. It was nearly four o'clock before I got to sleep, don't know what the problem was except I get to thinking so much about our lives the past few years.  Nine months ago today I saw you laid in the cold, dark earth. Now you are gone from me and I still do feel lost      Ben Honey, I miss you and I love you...........BILL-EE