Ben, I love you, I miss you. Don't know what to do with myself, so many times. without you here. I could say all the time. The pain is so hurtful sometimes(most of the time). I do keep on going, most of the time. I am glad to be alone, most of the time. I also enjoy my living, most of the time, all of the time, because I do know life goes on and GOD is still GOD. All of the time. The trip with the ladies, only 4 of us went. It was very enjoyable, I tried to stay relaxed all day . I think I did a good job of it. I bought me a Christmas gift. Got red slippers to go with my red sleeping gear Debbie bought last year. I found a red turban thing or whatever it's called. Our children wants me to keep something to put on  my head if I get out and it's cold and windy......so.  Came by the cemetery, couldn't stay long, kept thinking of my bad night last night. I have many good memories so I try to get my mind on them and not dwell on how it hurts. I kept thinking of all those years we would get up at 4 a.m. go to the church, pray for an hour, go back home sleep for an hour. That was the best sleep I'd have all night. Good ole days, huh? We had some very good days together for many years, for which I am so thankful. Trying to get to bed earlier so I won't sleep late in the a.ms.I miss you I love you more than I can say...........BILL-EE