Nov.28, 2011

Ben, I am writing my daily note to you. First off I want to say I miss you so. I went into the bedroom today to do some dustng, changed the sheets on the beds, and vacumned. As I was working in there, so many things came to  mind. Only showed me  I will definitely keep sleeping, living in the living room. We had some of the best days of our lives, but so many of our days this year, especially, were very trying. Nothing ever stopped us from loving each other. I know that love kept us both going. Honey, I know how you were always concerned about my welfare, even as I was concerned about yours. I just could not/would not see that you needed medicine. I had just begun to realize how depressed you were. I had told you I was going to call the Dr. and talk to him about it. I don't know, except, that I cared so much why I didn't realize sooner how much you may need something to take. Doesn't help now, because you have left me. Left me alone, even if you did care if I was out after dark alone. You could be a "worry wart" about that. Now I am alone in the day and at night whether at home or out driving. I promised you I would be careful and I am trying to be. Soon will be Christmas, going to be a sorrowful time for me. Don't know yet what I will do at Christmas, whatever I do you will be in my thoughts because I love you........BILL-EE