3/11/12

It is hard to think already March is almost half over, makes one wonder where is time going?        Honey, it is hard, sometimes, for me to think that you are really gone. The pain is so real. Thinking of you, there is a pain that goes through my being. I sometimes wonder at the pain. There is no medication for it. No one can do anything for it, it's just there. As I think about it all, there will be tears. Where do they come from I wonder? So, I do all I can ever do and call out to my Lord for help, He is the only one who truly can understand. He is where comes my help. I can find a reason to smile, that is exactly what you, Ben, would expect of me.     I told Lisa yesterday that I find myself more and more doing things that you once would say, when I drove I did this or that way. Now I will remember you said some way you would do a thing and I find myself doing as you would do. Can't believe myself that I am doing that.      I didn't mke it to church this a.m. The sleep would not come last night, I simply couldn't make it on a couple hours sleep. I did make it tonight though.      I am trudging onward, as you would want me to do. Even though I miss you so. Even though at times it seems unreal, I do know how it is.    I got by the cemetery today before I went to church. I put dirt in the vase of flowers so maybe the wind won't blow it over. Oh, honey, I miss you and I do so love you.............BILL-EE