I just got home s few minutes ago. I went with the Hall family to Arby's after church, had a junior roast beef, curly fries, and even had a chocolate turn over. Now I am too full to even think about going to bed. The Hall's are finally moving into their house. They bought Jan's mothers houses. There is one for Sarah and David and the other one will be Jared's. It was like old times, the four of us.         Ben, my heart, I still have so much to think about, and I still am totally alone. I started writing this blog for myself. It has been therapeutic for me, that is why I did it. Actually it was something, to begin with, that I knew I had to do to be able to go forward. There are times I get to thinking do I keep my loving husband from resting in peace by continuing to write these blogs. Am I doing this to keep him alive for me? Honey, I don't know, I have written so much. I have outlined my days in this blog and have written  many of my thoughts. Some thoughts I have not written but have said them when I am there at the site. I want to know that you are resting in peace. I believe I have received an answer to that. I know I am always going to miss you, to miss talking to you, to miss those times I could walk by you chair, rub your head and kiss you. So many times you would say make that lip o lated. So many memories, so many years together, so many tears I have shed, too many alone times to count, to much feelings of being lost and wondering what to do next. I don't have the answers, only God knows what the future holds for me. Whatever it is I know, as I always did, that I want the Lord's will for the rest of my life. I know that is what you would want of me also and what you would expect me to do, His will. All I can say at this time is, oh God help me, keep those angels around here. I still believe your angel is nearby  as is mine. If I couldn't believe that I would be even more lost than ever. My darling, rest in peace, I love you..........BILL-EE